i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
pop tarts are not kleenex
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
