The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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