Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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