i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
