Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
