Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
