I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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