now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize