he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
