the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
