literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
bring money and cleavage
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
