"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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