somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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