Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
