i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
