sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
