I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
