I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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