She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
