nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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