Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
