Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Couch. On fire.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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