He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
