I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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