And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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