I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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