It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
