It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.