How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
don't judge my taste in strippers
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".