I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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