fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
