My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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