It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just puked most of my soul out..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
