OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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