the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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