ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize