We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I didn't notice because vodka
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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