I wish life had little blips of pornography
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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