its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Bring me that man meat
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
