youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
