So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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