Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
