all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
