I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
