so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
