I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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