garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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