the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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