Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
