Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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