You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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