Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
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i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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