so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
