he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
