Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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