That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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