There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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