i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize