her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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