I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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