Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize