Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
