if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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