And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
the raccoons are back...
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