I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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